Midlife Transition as a Transwoman
From Working Trans Woman Magazine/Job Hunting/You Can Do It!/Makeup Tips for Older Trans Woman/Dressing for the Right Job
I’m neither stupid, using poor judgement nor a victim when I tell potential employers I’m transgender in phone interviews and conversations. Why should I hide who I am at the beginning of any relationship. What happens after that can be hurtful but, it is not my problem. That’s what I say anyway. Should I just cut my hair and go back to the horrible, dishonest person I was for most of my life. I know other LGBTQ people have been through so much worse. They were so brave!
When they call you and you allow them to call you William and sir and Mr. Starke and talk about “male nurses,” and they really like what you say and offer you a second interview. What next?
Well now, until today my approach to living and working as a nurse and being an unemployed Transwoman who suffered from severe job discrimination has been severely negative. I am on the verge of being homeless again and cry at the drop of a hat. I live inside my depressed head and seldom seem to come out into the sunlight. Oh my, how did I get here?
This is how I have been approaching my job search recently. You show up with no mascara or makeup of any kind because you were afraid to put it on. You are conscious of your hair that you have allowed to grow for two years to cover some of the male pattern baldness and you don’t wear wigs. You dare not wear earrings (the ones you like) or all your bracelets. You wear extra layers of male clothes, you saved for this reason, up top, because, there have been some changes, from the hormone effects of treatment. Your voice remains deep so no matter how you look, eyebrows are raised, you think.
So, Today, I heard just how negative I sound. It bothered me because I tell people how much I love myself since beginning my medical transition. Sadly, I have not been acting or talking that way. How did I get this way? Honestly, I did not come out of the closet to live in the dark.
You are 6'2" and acutely aware that when you walk into the office building, people will stair if you show up as a woman. Do it anyway!
During your interview, it is difficult to make eye contact, because you think you know what your potential employer is thinking. Make eye contact because you should be thinking, wow, I can do this job! They really need me.
You tell them you are Transgender and transitioning later in life and try to then educate them on your gender identity so you can be your true self if they hire you. You don’t have to tell them, being Trans doesn’t make you obligated to explain your gender identity.
You spend more time explaining your gender identity than selling your talents and skills. Stop that girl! You have so much to offer this company. If they can’t see that then someone else can.
Suddenly, the interview has ended. You thank the interviewer, get a loose handshake with, “we will contact you soon.” Do this! You shake that interviewer’s hands firmly with both of your perfectly manicured hands. Tell that interviewer that you would like to contact them soon to follow up on the results of your interview.
You leave, regretting every minute of the interview and somehow hating yourself again. Not! You realize this interview has been a great learning experience and look forward to the next one.
You hope for that call but it never comes. Just call them back in about a week. What’s to lose?
In the past, you never had any trouble getting a job as a male. Ahem! You never were a male!
You feel so sad, but you know you can never go back to being the person you were before beginning your transition. You are happy because you are recreating yourself every day!
Okay then! I am going to stop feeling that being Transgender is some kind of flaw. That’s how to stop this cycle, I know it is. Patsy Starke!, You have so much to give this world. Start giving it girl, today.
Patsy, 2018
Hey Girls and Guys, Being Transgender is who you are! Just pretending there were a Working Trans Women Magazine. Would love to see one…
